Empty Arms and Unveiled Truth

Those that have followed my blog for the last year know that our family walked through some difficult times.  One of those was a surprise pregnancy and second trimester miscarriage.  Walking through that left us scratching our heads many times, but trusting that God was doing something we couldn't see.  After taking time to grieve our loss, I couldn't help but think that God was preparing us for something else.  I even shared with a friend that I was excited to see what the next plans would be that God was to reveal to us.

So, fast forward to around the time of when my due date was supposed to be...our children's home received a precious little one who had been in a severely abusive situation.  She was under two years old and had already physically endured so much, not to mention her emotional state of being.  The department of social services here actually wanted her in the care of a family to assist with her healing.  Rene and I stepped forward to volunteer.  I just knew we were supposed to be a part of her healing.  Little did I know that God would use her for our healing too.  She has brought so much joy to our home.  Sure, there have been sleepless nights, but the smiles and laughter make it so worth it.

Today marks one year since I entered the hospital with life in my womb and walked out with empty arms.  Interesting enough, I found myself back at the same hospital today, on the same floor, accompanying a friend for her appointment.  I took time to remember...
I remember sitting in a wheelchair at the entrance/exit door last year while Rene went to get the car.  I remember my heart aching as I watched moms with babies and little ones entering those doors while mine were left so eerily empty.  It seemed so unfair, yet, I decided to trust.  I made the conscious decision to trust the One who sees all and loves us.  In contrast, today, I walked out the doors laughing and talking with two special friends.  Time and the Holy Spirit really do have a way of healing our hearts.  I also recognize that today, I left those same doors with my heart full of things that I didn't have a year ago....new revelations of my Savior and sweet memories with our sweet little foster daughter.

This year, we face new difficulties and circumstances.  The ministries that we have invested our lives into were taken away from us....this is a new set of empty arms that we have never experienced before.  The pain has been great.  The struggle real.  We miss the people so much.  I watch the others that still have the privilege of serving in the ministries and I feel the aching of my own heart, wishing I could join them.  Yet, I choose to trust Him and His sovereignty.  I can't help but to believe that He is preparing the way for the next area of service.  I choose to believe that in time, I will look back and realize that I have new revelations of my Savior and sweet new memories of ministry.

Also in this same season, we find ourselves having to lay this sweet little girl back at the Savior's feet, trusting that His divine plan is perfect for her.  Right now, it seems that circumstances for her will change and our hearts will grieve again, but we trust....We know He is working all things together for good and His glory.

In this season of our lives, this is our testimony:

There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You're sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You're teaching us to trust
Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us