Tonight, I write from the trenches of parenthood. Its been a long, emotional week in our household. You see, school started back this week. In our household, that takes on extra meanings. I have the amazing privilege of "directing" a school in a third world country at a children's home. That means heavy responsibilities and hard decisions. That means pushing through sickness and going to school anyways. That means trying to always find the very best teachers and provide the best resources for our students. And, that means trying to do everything possible to reach each child and teach them. It's trying to instill in each child how valuable they are and encourage them to reach their fullest potential. It is sharing with each of them the love of Jesus that abides in us and living the gospel for all of them to see. It is trying to assume the role of making disciples.
This week, we started another new school season, but this time, with a new child. A few months ago, when Sam entered into our lives, we took on a new realm of parenting that included lots of doctors appointments and therapy sessions. My child has special needs. We have been given three letter diagnosis and been shown multiple treatments that will help him. We find ourselves perusing the internet at night reading about his condition and learning all we can about it so we can better identify with our son. Yes, we entered a new world with new terminology and new schedules that come with special needs. We find ourselves being drawn to other parents and families that have walked this road long before us and have words of wisdom and encouragement to offer. Just as we have prayed through multiple seasons in the lives of Gabby and Owen, we find ourselves crying out to God for divine wisdom in the best way to parent him.
I have to say, that when I realized our son needed therapies and special accommodations for school and home, in the depths of my heart, I questioned whether we were supposed to return to Honduras or not. I mean, Honduras doesn't even have occupational therapists that I am aware of, and I knew that we did not have the "special" things he needed at our school. So, I prayed and asked God to give us wisdom. In His faithfulness, God made it clear that we were to return with a miraculous series of verses and events. He also provided a LEAD teacher that has years of experience in special education and drips with insight and wisdom for us. He has provided an amazing support system with our families and missionary family. So, my mind shifted from the "IF" we were supposed to return to asking God to teach us through these circumstances what He wants to teach us. As I learn more and more about Sam's condition, I am convinced that we have multiple other students that deal with similar issues. What if God wanted to use this child to build the foundation for special education accommodations in our school that will affect many other children in the future? We have a good start this year. Sam made it through the first couple of days of school. He is so excited to be learning! Today, he talked about his teachers as if they are his heroes. He even came home and played "school" with me while he pretended to be a teacher.
My child has special needs and I am a better person because of it.
Sam needs us to explain in detail the daily plan to him and that is just a good parenting technique (the other kids are grateful that we are being so thorough in this also).
Sam's condition requires us to pause 4-6 times a day to do some exercises. I tend to set my speed on "go" at all times. Pausing is a healthy thing. Taking deep breaths and stopping everything else in life for a few moments to focus my attention on my child is a good thing.
Sam demands our full attention many moments. How many times have I been distracted by other things, that I have been guilty of not "seeing" my kids? Taking time to forget everything else and focus on him and Gabby and Owen is priceless. These years will never return.
Sam's issues require us to parent him differently than we do Owen, just like we parent Owen differently than Gabby. Therefore, Rene and I have to spend time communicating about what we feel is best and how we will approach the next behavior that we would like to see adjusted.
Sam's condition makes me want to be a better learner as I find myself reading and studying more and more about the condition and approaches to treatments.
Sam has allowed me to develop an even deeper level of compassion and full blown respect for children and their parents that are labeled "different".
Having Sam is allowing me to see so many others that struggle as he does and it moves me to want to help them in a country where most are not receiving any kind of support. Where most of these kids are labeled "dumb" or "disruptive" and kicked out of schools.
Loving Sam makes me want to provide the ABSOLUTE best that we can for him and others that struggle like him.
I don't know exactly what God is up to, but I know that He is stretching us in new ways and we find ourselves more and more dependent on Him. We want to keep ourselves open to being used as His vessels. We continue to be grateful for the opportunity to serve Him here in Honduras.
