I'm caught up in Your presence
I just want to sit here at Your feet
I'm caught up in this holy moment
I never want to leave
Oh, I'm not here for blessings
Jesus, You don't owe me anything
More than anything that You can do
I just want You
This past month was one that I will forever remember. In March, my dad was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome on the same day that our borders were shut down in Honduras. I wrestled then with the reality that I might not see my dad again here on earth. As a missionary overseas, we know this reality when we sign up. We understand that every "see ya later" at the airport might be the last time we hug the necks of our loved ones.
My dad never slowed down during this pandemic. He continued to work hard helping my brothers put together their family business which was to open on August 15th. He did much physical labor, including climbing on roofs and building. Right at the opening of the business, however, he was encouraged to start taking chemo. I monitored from afar through messages and updates and realized that he was receiving blood transfusions more often than not. I spoke with my sister-in-laws and brothers about how he was doing and made the decision on August 31st at 10 p.m. to purchase a ticket to surprise my parents. Our borders had only opened two weeks prior to this. I flew all day on the 1st and surprised them the morning of September 2nd at my dad's doctor's appointment. I will never forget his expression and his hug that morning. Right after the surprise, the doctor came out to speak to us and shared with us that his treatments were no longer working and as a family we needed to make the decision about trying to keep him comfortable. Dad still continued to follow through with a blood transfusion that afternoon. However, it did not boost him like he had hoped. So, on that Friday, he decided he was done with treatments. A hospice nurse was called in and my dad's first question to him was, "How long do I have?" The nurse said that his doctor suspected he had about a week. My dad was shocked, to say the least. I don't think he realized how weak his earthly body had become.
We would later learn that my dad had been preparing for months for his earthly departure but even still, he thought he had more time. Rene and the kids flew on Saturday to try to get home to see him. They had trouble in immigration office due to an error on a birth certificate, but thankfully, they made it through and arrived at midnight. We drove straight from the airport to my parent's house and my dad knew each of the kids as they walked in the room and hugged his neck. The next morning, my dad called my brothers into his room to give them final instructions. He told them about bills to pay, policies to look for, and how he wanted his funeral. He even shared what shirt to dress him in.
Later that afternoon, we (kids, grandkids, and my mom) all gathered around his bed and sang worship songs together for about an hour. It was a Holy Moment. My dad knew Jesus personally and we realized we were spending the last hours of his life on earth with him. Owen got to sit by his bed and talk with him for hours and hold his hand. On Monday morning, I stood beside his bed when my dad left this earth. His eyes popped wide open and there was so much excitement in them. I know that was the moment that he entered into eternity. I stood there a moment taking it in and worshipping the One who had made his faith become sight.
I am learning what it means to live life on earth without my dad. I don't like it. I miss him. YET,
I will FOREVER be grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the gift of being with my family during this time. He is so, so kind to me. I am also so thankful for the hope of eternity. A friend sent us a card that simply said,
"One more reason to long for Heaven."
Oh how true that is!
I have witnessed so many Divine and Holy Moments this past month: God's timing of borders reopening, brothers recovering from COVID, surprise visit that turned into preparing for his departure. I have seen friends that have sacrificed for our family showing the ultimate kind of Godly love. I have seen generosity that reflects eternal perspective. I have witnessed His plans for mom's sister unfold even in the 11th hour. I have experienced His comfort that passes our earthly understanding. I have seen Him grant strength to my mom that is unexplainable. I am thankful to have been caught up in "Holy Moments" this past month. His presence has been so very tangible.
We have amazing friends and community. Our words could never express how thankful we are for each of you that have reached out to love on our family.
