Bonding Over Vomit

When we are in the states, we travel a lot!  Its part of keeping up our ministries.  We travel to speak and share with churches and schools and groups of people that partner with us financially and prayerfully what has been happening in our lives and in our ministries.  Last week was a complete whirlwind!  We made two trips back and forth to Upstate South Carolina in a 4 day time frame.  I was exhausted and the kids were exhausted.  In addition to the physical fatigue, we learned something else on those trips- Sam gets carsick.

On Sunday morning, we left Moncks Corner at 5 a.m. in order to make it to a 9 a.m. service at the Chinese Christian Church in Greenville.  We were about 5 minutes from the church when Sam starts yelling, "Window down. Window down."  This has been a source of contention in our car rides more than once.  Sam likes to ride with the windows down and the rest of the family prefers the air conditioning.  However, something about the squeals of the other two kids made me realize this was different.  I grabbed a grocery bag that was at my feet in the passenger seat and passed back to him.  Immediately, he was sick....really, really sick.  Then, Owen jumped up screaming, "There's a hole in the bag!"

Rene pulled over at the gas station and the rest of the family bailed.  It was just me and poor Samuel.  He was covered in vomit and so was the car.  God gave me such grace in that moment and mommy instincts kicked in.  I began the process of cleaning him up and getting him clean clothes to change into and then started on the car clean-up.  Sam kept saying, "I'm sorry, Mommy."  I assured him that he had NOTHING to be sorry about.  He got sick and it wasn't his fault.  When it was all over, he hugged me and said, "Thank you, Mommy!"  I was a mess!

It was a small moment, but it was so special.  It was a moment where he needed me and I had the privilege of being a "Mommy" to him in a moment when most little kids want their mommy's help.  Since that little moment, I have noticed Sam a lot more eager to crawl in my lap and give me hugs.  Ever so slowly, WE are bonding!  (Even if that does come with a sour smell and sticky yuckiness)

"Why Not Me?"

Many of you know that I work in a school located in a children's home in Honduras.  What an absolute PRIVILEGE it is to serve here.  The children that I get to serve and work with are some of the most precious kids on the planet.  I get the joy of watching them succeed academically.  I get the joy of being in the trenches with the teachers day in and day out to provide the absolute best that we can for them.  We believe that a high quality, Christian education is going to change the trajectory of their lives.

So, before we left to go pick up Samuel, I shared with all of our students that we were going to adopt a child.  I explained that he was a from a different country and he needed a family....And then I braced myself, because I knew what was coming.

One child raised his hand and asked, "Mrs. Brooke, why didn't you adopt me?"

Every child longs for a family.  Life seems so unfair at times.  Why does one get the blessing of family and the other doesn't?  With as much confidence as I could muster, I assured each one of them,

"Babies, if the law allowed you to be eligible for adoption, each of you would have been snatched up by multiple families by now.  You are ALL precious.  I praise God that He has provided this amazing place for you to call home and I am honored to get to come here and love on you all each day. I am so grateful to all the missionaries, tias, teachers, and supporters that make this home possible."

The questions proceeded,

"Mrs. Brooke, what happened to Samuel?  Why does he get to be with another family?"

I continued with caution as I shared his story with them.  I shared that he was found on the streets of China and that no one knows where his original parents are.  Then the hand came from one precious little boy that I have spent so much time loving and teaching and helping to come up with coping mechanisms for anger,

"Mrs. Brooke, that's MY story."

"I know, sweetheart.  He has a story similar to many of you that live here.  That's why I know that YOU will understand so many his emotions when I bring him back here.  How do you think he is going to feel coming to a new place, learning a new language?"

Student #1:  "He will feel scared."
Student #2:  "He will be confused."
Student #3:  "He may feel some excitement."
Student #4:  "He will feel happy because this is a happy place."

"Well, I know that EACH one of you are going to help him feel happy here.  That you will teach him things about Honduras and that he will teach you things about China.  You guys are all going to learn so much from each other.  I am so excited that he gets to come and experience life together with you."

Life is not always fair, but I am grateful for Good Shepherd Children's Home.  I am grateful for Good Shepherd Christian Academy.  Its because of people in the states that generously give from month to month that these ministries exist.  So, there are many kids here in Honduras that will never get to share my last name, but I work hard because I love them.  I believe in them and I believe that the ministry God has called us to is making generational change.

Maybe God has not called you or your family to adopt, but there are multiple other ways to become involved in being a part of a child's life that needs to know stability and love.  You can help those that are asking, "Why not me?"  Consider giving to one of these ministries on a monthly basis to see that we can continue providing for them.

https://giving.bmdmi.org/bmdmi-schools

Photo Credits go to Billy Weeks

The Balancing Act

I posted recently that we could be raising the next Karate Kid.  I was half-joking.  Sam is amazing at balancing.  He also gets in this Karate Kid position with the most concentrated look on his face, zoned in and ready to accomplish anything.  I wish I could balance things so easily.

These last few weeks I have found my heart so divided and my mind so unfocused.  I know this is partly due to stress and new transitions and trying to make sure each of my kids get individualized attention.  How to balance discipline and yet tolerate new behaviors?  How do you balance the one son who feels displaced and the other son who wants acceptance?  Combine that with financial stress of "how are we going to pay that attorney", homeschooling, fundraising for and missing our ministries in Honduras and it has been the perfect storm to be unbalanced.

However, I believe that the Psalmist knew that a divided heart accomplishes nothing.

11Teach me your way, Lord,

that I may rely on your faithfulness;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name. (Psalm 86)

So, many mornings and late nights, I have prayed this same prayer.  Lord, teach me YOUR ways.  I have seen and can testify of YOUR faithfulness in our lives over and over again. Help me to trust that this is YOUR way, YOUR very nature.  YOU remain faithful, even when I am unfaithful.   Give me an UNDIVIDED heart.  Help me to find that peaceful balance.  LEAD me beside still waters as YOU restore my soul.  Help me to fear YOUR name.  The prayer, the cry says, "Teach me..."  Like any Good Teacher, my Father has us learning this in a hands-on manner.  He's giving me wisdom from others and surrounded us with a group of supporters to encourage us forward.  He's teaching me each day through new trials and repeating some that I need to be reminded of.  

One of my favorite songs is Grace by Laura's Story.  The first verse sums up my life right now.  

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.

I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.

And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me

And hold me as my father and mold me as my maker. 

[Chorus:]
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound? "
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace. "

We are so far from perfecting this "parenting an older adopted child" thing.  However, I can testify that God's grace is sufficient for each day.  Tomorrow, I leave behind my sweet family to return to ministries in Honduras for a couple of weeks.  Its part of the juggling act right now. 

 I am trusting that as I board that plane, His Grace will be sufficient.  

Photo Credits go to Anna Johnson

Working on the 5%

"I hate to break the bad news to you, but about 80 percent of all you do, anyone can do! For example, going to work, attending meetings, checking e-mail, answering phones, going to soccer games and lunches and dinners.

Additionally, about 15 percent of all you do someone with some measure of training could do in your place.  Whether it's selling a product, running a program, teaching a class, or fixing a problem, there is education and training available for someone else to do what you do.

But at least 5 percent of what you do, only you can do.  No one else can do it for you.  Only I can be a husband to my wife,  Only I can be a dad to my three children.  Only I can keep my body healthy.  And only I can grow spiritually!  No one else can do the last 5 percent for me.  I alone am responsible for it.  Only I can keep myself disciplined." - The Divine Mentor by Wayne Cordero

I can't believe we have spent a month here in the states.  Time has flown so fast.  This Friday, I will leave to return to Honduras and leave behind my babies and hubby.  Its going to be hard, but it has been hard to be here too.  We have loved the time together to bond with Sam, but our hearts miss Honduras.  We love what we do there!  There hasn't been a day that goes by that Gabby or Owen doesn't ask when they get to go back.

So, what has our first month with Sam looked like?  Bringing a 10 year old into our home has many similarities to bringing in an infant.  We have had to work on sleep schedules, deal with him not sleeping, waking up in the middle of the night, and work on finding a feeding schedule and foods that works for him. Mainly, we have been working on the 5 %.

We've been working on parenting our children, growing spiritually, and being intentional about our conversations as a couple.  We have tried to prioritize the 5% in our lives that no one else can do.  Many times, while we are serving in Honduras, we tend to focus on the 95 % listed above and the 5% can easily be pushed to the bottom of the list.  So, we are re-prioritizing.

• we've cuddled a little more
• we've lingered a little longer in devotion times with our Savior
• we've had deep conversations with our children
• we've stayed up a little later and played Monopoly
• we've drawn out bed time routines a little longer 
• we've laughed hysterically about drawings in Pictionary
• we've cooked together and enjoyed meals together

We may not get to experience the same kind of firsts like with an infant, but we have had our own "firsts".  The first time he shared with us his great fear of ghosts and Rene was able to pray for him and ask God's angels to surround and protect him.  The first time he called us "Mommy" and "Daddy".  The first time he went to the beach and jumped in the waves.  The first time to say "my" house.  Yes, there have been some behavior problems, anger outbursts, and nightmares, but we have also had plenty of laughter, love, and growing trust.  

Thank you for praying for us in this transition.  Thank you for supporting our family in this new faith journey.  Each day we are reminded of our Father's great love for us, even when we were most undeserving.  "We love because He first loved us."

Who Are We?

Owen likes things black and white.  If you know my child at all, you know that he is an entertainer.  He loves to tell stories over a cup of coffee and perform magic tricks for anyone that will listen.  He lives for soccer and is constantly being told, "Take that ball outside, please!"  But...he is my kid that sees things black and white.  So, the first few days that Sam came to be with us, Owen could not understand why we were not correcting every.single.thing. that he was doing that was wrong.  We tried to explain to Owen that we couldn't correct everything all at once.  We were going to have to start teaching him who we are as a family and focus on one thing at a time.  Owen has struggled that every time he sees Sam "step out of line" that he is not representing our family well.

This made me realize that we would involve Gabby and Owen in our lessons of teaching Sam about our family.  In order to teach these things, we had to define "WHO WE ARE."  When you are introducing an older child to a new family, you can't assume that he will just pick up your identity. We have had years to repeat things and model things for Gabby and Owen (being a Pizzati is their born identity; they don't know anything differently), but for Sam, we have to teach it, mold it, reinforce it over and over again. We have to demonstrate to him what it means to be a Pizzati.   So, that meant, we had to write it down.  Our family values have always been summarized by these four things:  We work hard, respect authority, love others, forgive quickly.  However, some further explanation was needed.  This list may be modified in the future, but this is what Gabby and Owen, Rene and myself sat down and brainstormed.  So, Sam, ready or not, this is what it means to be "Pizzati".

1.  We are not defined by money or social status, but rather by our love for Jesus and others.
2.  We respect each other's uniqueness and tolerate our differences.
3.  We let the Holy Spirit guide our decisions.
4.  We love to travel and meet new people.
5.  We work together to accomplish everyday tasks.
6.  Pizzatis try new things.
7.  We celebrate individuality.
8.  We find ways to laugh together often.
9.  We love God's creation and take time to marvel it.
10.  We support one another no matter what.
11.  Home is where we are together.

Noodles for Breakfast?

Its no secret that we are a multicultural family.  Up until a couple of weeks ago, we worked hard to blend Honduran culture and North American culture in our home.  Now, we add a third culture-- Chinese.  What does this mean?  It means that we will acknowledge new holidays, introduce new foods and learn new recipes, and learn some words and phrases in a new language as well.  It means we are being stretched.

Right now, my mornings are interesting...Breakfast looks different for each of my children.

Gabby is content with a bowl of cereal.

Owen prefers to have some beans and tortillas.

Sam wants a big bowl of noodles.

Yes, you read that right...a bowl of noodles for breakfast.  Some people would say, "Absolutely not. He should eat whatever everyone else eats."

Yet, here we are, trying to win over his heart.  Trying to show him that we love him the way he is and how he was created.  So, I make noodles for breakfast.

Last week, we made our first trip to the Asian supermarket.  We have been accustomed to finding authentic Honduran food in specialized Hispanic supermarkets, but the Asian market was a new experience.  We let Sam walk down the aisles and show us things that he likes.  He was so excited!  He pointed and translated the labels that were written in Chinese.  Over the next few days, I heard comments like, "Mommy, this is soooooo good!"  Rene and I couldn't help but smile.  What joy it brings our hearts to give our children good gifts.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11

Thank you Father for knowing us so intimately...for your Grace that gives us extra blessings and gifts that we don't deserve.  Lord, I pray that in this season of meshing as a family, that I will also find myself delighting in and resting in Your presence.  Thank you for being a Good, Good Father.

Psalm 37:4

4 Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Just as we continue to learn his culture, we begin to teach him our culture.  Camo and tree stands just happen to be a part of that!

Love that Never Lets Go

We knew it was coming.  We have worked with children in the foster care system and children's homes for over a decade.  Children that have experienced so much pain and difficulty channel their frustrations differently.  Many times, this results in anger outbursts and tantrums of sorts.  We had heard that Sam demonstrated his emotions through such tantrums.  So, last week when we were eating dinner with some new friends, we saw the first breakdown.  It was ugly.  We have analyzed the situation and come up with new ideas of how to respond differently next time, but meanwhile we watched this scenerio play out for over an hour.  Sam said ugly things and threatened to hurt himself.  Then, when he tried to begin to harm himself, Rene physically restrained him.  He laid on the bed and held him for over 20 minutes.  As I sat there and watched, I prayed and I sang and we tried to get him to calm down.

(I hesitate to share the details because I don't want anyone thinking differently of our boy.  He is just a child that has been hurt far more than any of us could ever imagine and certain things trigger memories for him that are unpleasant.  For many adoptive families, these episodes are normal.)

Rene kept telling him over and over again, "When you are ready, I will let go."  Finally, Sam's body went limp and he said, "I am ready."  Then he rolled over and said some very profound words.

"You are the first daddy that has ever held me like that and not let go."

Oh.my.heart!

As I sat there, I thought to myself, "Lord, how many times have I argued with you and tried to do things my way?  You knew that it would be things that would bring me harm, so You held me.  I have fought you so many times."  Oh the joy of surrender and release and the recognition that He is a Good, Good Father and He will never let us go.  What reassurance it is to know that He sees us in our worst moments and He still holds us...He still loves us...He never lets go.  

“Be determined and confident. Do not be afraid of them. Your God, the Lord himself, will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.” —Deuteronomy 31:6

1 Corinthians 13 reminds us of what love looks like.  These week I am reminded that love is the most important thing we can share right now.

7 Love bears all things (even the hard days of tantrums), 

believes all things (you are a precious child chosen and set apart), 

hopes all things (that with Jesus, you, son will be healed), 

endures ALL things.

8 Love never ends.

The Beauty of a New Culture

Many times I am quick to complain about things in this culture that I live in.  I know that is part of the culture shock adjustment and realizing differences.  However, today, I wanted to focus a minute on the beauty of this culture that I have made my home in.  The people here have reminded me of the simplicity of life.  This week alone, I have had a single mother who makes very little, cook me dinner and deliver it to my house.  I had a gas station attendant who accidently forgot to return my debit card guard it safely and get it back to me.  I have watched teachers willingly give up their extra time to offer tutoring to struggling students.  I have been reminded that life happens around mealtime and deep conversations and hugs are more important sometimes that writing the policies and posting rules.  I have been reminded of a selfless generosity that far surpasses my own understanding. I have been reminded of a hospitality that doesn't begin to look like Martha Stewart, but has a depthness to it that I cherish and long for.

I am reminded of a work ethic as I look at the 40 year old lady who has the creases in her face of a 70 year old due to the hard labor of surviving.

I am reminded that some people are so desperate for something to drink or eat that they will stand at the stop lights in the city doing tricks

I am reminded of their creativity as I watch them practice dances and put together traditional programs and create bulletin boards from handmade items and not just buy things from a store.

I am in awe of a beautiful culture that I get to embrace and learn from and for living in this country I get to call "home".

Our Adoption Story

"Mommy, Daddy, will you give me one more hug?"

"Will I have a new name?"

"Why, Mommy, do we have to do it this way?"

"You're the first daddy that has ever held me this way and hasn't let go."

These are a few of the phrases we have heard in this first week with our newly adopted son, Samuel.  For those that pray for us regularly and support us financially, we have had questions as to how quickly this adoption has come about.  Let us assure you, it has been quick for us too!  About a year ago, Rene and I began to consider the idea of growing our family through adoption.  We quickly decided that we would not adopt from Honduras because we have personally witnessed too many failed adoptions due to government restrictions and not being an "adoption friendly" country.  So, we went and asked questions at an adoption agency when we were home in the states last fall.  We asked questions like...
- Being faith based missionaries, are we even eligible to be adoptive parents?
- Is it a smart idea to bring an adopted child into our lifestyle of serving in another country and travelling to speak often?

The agency assured us that our situation, though unique, did not disqualify us from adopting.  We looked at the different countries that this agency represented.  Rene was immediately drawn to China since we had hosted many students from this country before in our home.  However, it was the one country that we did not meet all of the financial eligibility requirements for.  So, we decided to take a year to pray about it.  We never filled out an application or applied for a home study.  We decided to just pray.  Meanwhile, we received this agency's newsletters via email.  About four weeks ago, an email about this 10 year old Chinese boy filled our inbox.  There was something about his picture that captivated us.  He had been adopted from China, but it was not working out with his adoptive family.  So, they were seeking to find another family that would consider a "domestic" adoption.  We met the criteria for such an adoption!  So, we called.  Within a day, we were having a phone conference interview with the original family and they approved us.  Here we are, four weeks later, calling a new 10 year old Chinese boy named Samuel, ours.  He was a boy found abandoned on the streets of China at age 6 and was placed in an orphanage.  He was found without anything...no birth certificate, no belongings.  He was renamed by the orphanage that took him in and documentation was created for him.  He was placed in foster homes and then put on an adoption list.  He was adopted and then placed on a list again.  He is ours!  We aren't letting go.  He assumes our last name and now becomes one of our heirs.

This week as we have spent many firsts with him, I have watched intently and I have heard the Spirit whisper to my heart multiple times.  Adoption is such a tangible example of redemption and what Jesus does for us.  Jesus finds us, chooses us as his children.  Often times we have to go through extraordinary measures in order for us to be receptive to the arms of a Loving Father.  We have spent this week teaching Samuel about our family, showing him pictures of his heritage, and demonstrating to him love that surpasses any behavior.  Oh, thank you Jesus for being so intentional with me and for providing a book that teaches me about Your heart and tells me who You are!  I think I will start a book for Samuel (in my spare time, ha!)  Meanwhile, we relish in these moments of meeting our child whom God has blessed us with.  We begin the process of revealing expectations and family rules and guidelines that we feel are best.  We take time to answer the "Whys?" as best as we can.  We talk openly about a new family and a new name and most importantly, we are working hard to reassure him of our unconditional love.

Once the papers are finalized, Samuel will be joining us in our ministries in Honduras.  Meanwhile, Rene and I are doing our best to juggle responsibilities there and here.   Please continue to pray for us during this transition.

The whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:22-23)

Life in Honduras

Wow! Its been way to long since I have blogged.  In fact, so much has happened in the last three years.  Our family returned to serve in Honduras.  We cycled through the culture shock stages yet again.  We are now "reintegrated" and enjoying serving Jesus.

My husband serves with bringing teams from the states and introducing them to serving here in Honduras.  We are so humbled week after week that we have the opportunity to meet so many servants of Jesus.  Rene also serves as co-director of the Bible Institute where native leaders and pastors are trained to continue on in the discipleship area of these teams.  Its fascinating work to watch the body of Christ come together to fulfill the Great Commission.

I have been serving as the LEAD teacher coordinator at Good Shepherd Christian Academy.  GSCA is a school located inside of the property of our children's home here in Honduras.  We decided a couple of years ago to try to convert our school to be bilingual.  So, we began the search for LEAD teachers, which are volunteer teachers that come from the states to teach our children here.  I have witnessed God's faithfulness year after year.  He has provided just who we needed at just the right times.  I love watching these kids grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. I also love to help these teachers transition into the country and school.  It is such a joy for me to share with them from experience how to help cycle through culture shock.  I also try to do my part in loving on them and providing time for Bible study and a meal each week.

These guys pour themselves out for the sake of our children (mine included).  It is so beautiful to watch relationships form that I know will last a lifetime.  I also get the privilege of watching how God is using this experience for teachers as the stepping stone for what is next.  Three of the LEAD teachers have decided to take a next step with BMDMI to become full-time.  I praise Jesus for this program and ministry.  I believe that education is the key to break generational poverty. I believe that through our small efforts and service today, that a generation is being changed.  My prayer is that through this education, they would also come to know Jesus, the Author of their faith.  

Return Anxiety and Non-Elation!

I am finally getting around to posting this blog. I wrote it while sitting in the airport in Honduras our last few moments. It’s not perfect and I know that I should revise it, but this shows me right where I am. I can’t wait to continue to post updates of our life journey as the Creator of the Universe orders our steps!

I have just completed what may have been one of the most difficult weeks of my life so far. We packed our things and said goodbye to our friends and family in Honduras…for now. I can’t even begin to describe the surge of emotions we have experienced: pain, joy, heartbreak, fear, and fulfillment are just a few.

It hurt. Literally. My heart hurt to have to leave. These are people we love, people we have poured our hearts and lives into. Several important circumstances have led my husband to this decision. From legal paperwork to maintain his residency to lack of funding to return, the decision to return to the states was inevitable, but that didn’t make it easy. We cried lots! I know that the book of psalms tells us that God collects each of our tears in a bottle and I know that this week, we’ve filled a few for Him to store. However, I wanted to share with you that even in the midst of one of the most difficult times, His presence was with us! I saw Him all around us! He encouraged us as He allowed us to see fruit of our five and half years as missionaries in the country. I saw him as He spoke through our Honduran friends. These last days have been busy packing and cleaning and selling things and receiving people and hearing their stories. Dozens of people and families came to share how God has used us to touch their lives in some way or another. It was overwhelming! It was overwhelming because I know that it was nothing good out of us, but that the Lord simply used us, as imperfect as they come, to touch them in various ways. Our hearts were filled with joy this last Sunday morning as our church was filled to capacity and His people worshiped Him. I saw the Lord’s presence as He provided legal paperwork for mom and dad’s girls and an interview date for my sister-in-law at the embassy. I saw the Lord’s presence as the people of the church grieved our leaving but were so willing to embrace their new pastor and vowed their support to continue to grow Transformacion. I felt the Lord’s presence as He changed my attitude from one of anger and bitterness to a heart of gratitude for the time He has given us in Honduras.

We have been scared. We don’t have paying jobs yet back in the states nor do we have a house to live in yet. Fear has paralyzed me at times. Maybe I shouldn’t have these kind of emotions, but I have. I can’t say that I’ve been super-spiritual, trusting the Lord each step, but rather the opposite. Clinging on to Him for dear life is more like it.I have had to say, “Lord, I don’t understand. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I am choosing to trust You even when I can’t see.” Walking by faith and not by sight is easier said and written than it is lived.

“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He restores my soul. And yeah, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for HE is withme. His rod and His staff, they comfort me.”

No, this was not a physical death, but it has been a death to our own desires. We are grieving, but we also know that with every death comes a resurrection and that joy comes in the morning! We anticipate this time. I would be lying if I said that I haven’t worried. I have worried about many things and yet after taking time to list those things to the Lord, He allowed me to see His hand in each one. Isn’t it just like the Lord to show up in our darkest valley? Why do I ever doubt Him? Why do I ever fear? He continues to prove to me over and over again that He is trustworthy and faithful! So, the Author and Perfector of our faith has completed writing another chapter in our lives. Now, a new chapter begins and I am not even about to try to figure out what it is He wants to write, but I know that there will be more than we could have ever thought or imagined!

Thank you for sending us to Honduras! One day you will come face to face with your eternal rewards, of this we are certain! Please continue to pray for us as we take one step of faith at a time.

Original post can be seen at:  pizzati.blogspot.com

Return Shock!

Re-Culturization

I know that I grew up in this country. American principles and ideals are ingrained in me. However, living outside of the U.S. for five and half years has changed me. I'm still trying to process "how" but I know for certain that I am not the same person I was before we left the U.S. We didn't just "live" outside of the U.S., but rather I sought to embrace a different culture and lifestyle. I studied them and adapted many things accordingly. I saw poverty sights that most Americans only see on TV and I saw them so often that I must confess that I may have even become immune to them at times. So, how does one go from living in a culture where relationships were more important than meetings, where having clothes were more important than the style you wore, where eating three meals a day was a luxury not a necessity, and where punctuality was irrelevant, adjust back to the American culture?

I must confess, it is taking time.

So, we were only gone five and half years. Can things really change that much? You bet they can! Streets here in Greenville look different. Landmarks I once used to get around with have changed with new restaurants and businesses. New electronic devices have blown me away! Many seem foreign to me, but slowly I am making myself learn to use them. I am amazed at the functions of the DVR, Netflix, and the nook. I love having an automatic dishwasher and was fascinated to learn what could go down the drain for the garbage disposal. However, inspite of all these things, by far the greatest change has been me! I am learning not to take things for granted such as more than one pair of shoes in my closet, plates to eat on, heat in the house, beds to sleep on, walls around us to block the wind, toys for my kids to play with, etc.

I find myself enjoying "things to do" but also finding it hard to make decisions. There seem to be so many options here! For example, in our town in Honduras we had two grocery stores and you simply went to the one that you lived closest to. There was one place to buy vegetables, another for meat, etc. Inside our grocery store, there was basically one brand of everything we wanted. Here, it is taking me forever to decide which grocery store to go to. I am using coupons to help me narrow this option down, but nonetheless, more than one store has sales and is in a convenient location. Then, when I get inside of the store, there isn't just one brand of soup, there are several and within each branded label, there are multiple varieties. Options and choices. From restaurants to feminine products, this is a land of variety. And right now, the variety overwhelms me.

The other morning, I drove into a gas station, pulled up at the pump, and just sat there. I'm not exactly sure how long it took me to realize that someone was not coming to pump my gas. In Honduras, this was a way to provide jobs for people, but here it is "self-serve". So, in the freezing cold, I climbed out my car and mashed all the right buttons and pumped my own gas. I know it seems silly, but after going for so long not having to do this, I felt a little intimidated.

Also, there are still times that I look at a price in a store and begin calculating it to lempiras because that became second nature to me. I still find myself seeing someone with "darker skin" and begin speaking in Spanish to them. I find myself cringing as I see some of the scraps people here put into the garbage disposal. I have to stop myself from not grabbing everything out people's garbage cans to save for someone who might could use it such as empty milk cartons and plastic containers. I still look under my sink for the gallon of bleach to use for my vegetables, and I'm still amazed that the water in the faucet comes out so clear! I LOVE the luxury of simply rinsing a tomato to use and eat. I still find myself staring at unused candles in peoples homes, b/c each of mine had burned to the end on the nights we had no electricity.

So, I have been asking people to "re-culturize" me: to teach me the way things are done here, the way people eat, and the way people dress. Just as I adapted to Honduran culture in order to share Christ with them, my desire has been to re-adapt to this culture in order to share Christ here. However, I don't want to fall into the trap of materialism. I don't want to forget the lessons I have learned. I want to be in the world but not of the world. I think that's what we're commanded to do anyways. I remember my husband teaching guys in Honduras, "I'm not here to teach you an American culture or a Honduran culture, I'm here to teach you a Biblical culture." This is my prayer.... may I adapt where I need to, but Lord help me to be a walking example of what a "Jesus Culture" should look like.

This post can be viewed on my original blog setting:  pizzati.blogspot.com

Culture Shock in Marriage

My husband calls this picture, "We are the World."  He still thinks I married him to help do my part to promote world peace.  LOL.  Seriously, he is from Honduras, Central America and I am from Moncks Corner, SC.  He's from a city and I'm from the country.  His native language is Spanish and mine is English.  We both attended North Greenville College and we were introduced to one another by my twin brothers.  They were just freshman and I was a senior.  They decided to invite all the international students home with them during Fall break because the campus closed and most internationals had nowhere to go.  My future husband just happened to be in the group:)  We met over that weekend and the rest is whirlwind history!

Its funny that when we met, I thought, "He's a great guy.  He loves the Lord, but it would NEVER work between us."  When a couple of my girl friends questioned my reasons, I responded with the excuses, "Well, he's not an American citizen and he's shorter than me."  I admit that they were not very legitimate excuses:)  My brother's girlfriend at the time put a sticky note on my door while I was out one day.  It said, "Do not consider his appearance, nor HIS HEIGHT, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  1 Samuel 16:7  This verse combined with a few intense conversations with one another revealed he was the ONE for me and what was in his heart was far greater than my excuses.  My husband shared with me his desire to return to his country to serve the Lord there, so I knew that when we said, "I do" at the altar that I wasn't just saying yes to a lifelong mate, but also to a life of missionary service overseas.

I think it is important to insert here that my husband spoke English.  It wasn't his first language and we certainly have had a few laughs over the years with some misunderstandings, but we could communicate.  I think that communication is one of the keys to any successful marriage.  So, talk we did, and continue to do.  I also think that every marriage is the combining of two cultures.  Everyone is raised with their own traditions and disciplines and it takes communication and work to develop your own.  We knew that our marriage would be uniting two countries and two families as well.  We knew that it would take some extra work to overcome some differences.  So, maybe, we even conversed a little more than most couples do because we wanted to make sure we were preparing ourselves for a lifetime of unity between these cultures. Over the years, it has been so much fun to create our own traditions and customs.  However, there have been a few topics that it have become very apparent that we were raised cross-culturally and thus has created some CULTURE SHOCK!

1.  Raising Kids
2.  Holidays
3.  Family

In each of these topics, we have blended our cultures to create our own unique traditions and customs that what makes us known as the Pizzati Family.