We Worship in the Wait

This month we received difficult news about our unborn baby and we were told to wait and see what will happen.  Waiting can be so difficult!  We have a month to wait for the next ultrasound.  We have played through many possible scenarios in our minds, but still find ourselves back to the reality of the unknown future.  We find ourselves not being able to make definitive plans because we don't know what the full projection of our baby's life is going to be.  We have faced the reality that miscarriage and stillbirth are high percentages.  We have also faced the reality that our child could be born with severe disabilities.  And yet, knowing that medical knowledge, we still KNOW that God is able to heal and restore completely if He chooses.  So, we have decided to worship Him in the wait.  As I have stated before, we will praise Him no matter the outcome, so we might as well start now.  We have praised Him for the life growing inside of me.  We have also shared that we are simply His vessels and desire nothing more than for Him to receive glory!  God has been so gracious to us!  He has given us His peace that passes understanding.  He has reminded us of His faithfulness in times past and we have no reason to doubt that His grace and faithfulness will prevail yet again.  In fact, we are simply overwhelmed by the faithfulness and goodness of God.  We find ourselves in a new place facing circumstances we never imagined.  We are in deep waters, but His sovereignty still prevails and His grace abounds.  Of this, we can testify!  His grace is meeting us in our deepest fears and pains and we are resting in His embrace.  We are so grateful for the prayers of the saints that are uplifting us and for the messages we have received.  This is where we are today and we hope to update after our next appointment.  We are so thankful that we can trust Him with our everything!

The second verse the worship song, OCEANS, by Hillsongs says this:

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Cystic Hygroma- Such an Ugly Word!

About five weeks ago, we found out the surprise of a lifetime- I am pregnant.  I knew that I had not felt myself all summer long and thought I just had a case of amoebas or parasites, which can be a common missionary thing.  So, to find out the pregnancy news at 8 weeks pregnant, was well, completely shocking!  Our kids are older, ages 12, 11, and 10.  We had not planned on having anymore children.  I am so grateful for the friends I went to and the truth that they shared with me during that time of shock.  They reminded me that ALL children are a blessing from our Heavenly Father, but they also gave me space to process.  They reminded me that my roller coaster of emotions was normal.  In a podcast I listened to by John Piper about receiving unexpected news, He shared, "take time to grieve the loss of your plans and dreams, but when the grieving is over, dry your tears in sweet surrender, knowing God's sovereignty is greater and bigger and we can trust Him." So, after absorbing the shock and accepting this as God's plan for our lives, we decided to tell others.  Our baby announcement looked like this:

Then, yesterday, in a routine ultrasound of 13 weeks, we heard news that no expecting parents want to hear.  There is something wrong with the baby.  Our baby has a very large Cystic Hygroma and abdominal adema. A what?!?   I had never heard of such a thing.  Immediately, words like miscarriage, chromosomal abnormalities were thrown out there.  He encouraged us to read more about it on the internet but also know that many babies have had a cystic hygroma that disappears and turn out to be fine, although ours is extremely large.  The internet is full of a lot of terrifying possibilities.  We are scared.  There are so many questions about the baby, his/her future, our future.  However, in the middle of those fears, I found myself singing... "Your name is Great and Your heart is kind....whatever may pass and whatever lies before me....Let me be singing when the evening comes."  I can't imagine trying to go through something like this without the hope of Jesus.  We KNOW that Jesus is able to heal and make our baby whole.  We also KNOW that He will not leave us nor forsake us.  And I have fashioned my heart to praise Him.  After all, He is the Giver of Life and this is His child.  He only gives them to us to hold a little while.  Granted, there are many possibilities that I would praise Him through a tear streaked face, but none the less, there are 10,000 Reasons and more to Praise Him!  So, if He heals, I will praise Him .  So, if I never get to hold this baby in my arms, I will praise Him.  If this baby has to endure pain and suffering, I will praise Him.  Not because I will feel like it....but because He is Great and He is kind and I know He loves us and He loves this baby and He is worthy of Praise!

Please pray for Baby Pizzati.  Pray for Rene and I that we will lean into each other and pray for our other three treasures as they process this journey with us!