"Why Not Me?"

Many of you know that I work in a school located in a children's home in Honduras.  What an absolute PRIVILEGE it is to serve here.  The children that I get to serve and work with are some of the most precious kids on the planet.  I get the joy of watching them succeed academically.  I get the joy of being in the trenches with the teachers day in and day out to provide the absolute best that we can for them.  We believe that a high quality, Christian education is going to change the trajectory of their lives.

So, before we left to go pick up Samuel, I shared with all of our students that we were going to adopt a child.  I explained that he was a from a different country and he needed a family....And then I braced myself, because I knew what was coming.

One child raised his hand and asked, "Mrs. Brooke, why didn't you adopt me?"

Every child longs for a family.  Life seems so unfair at times.  Why does one get the blessing of family and the other doesn't?  With as much confidence as I could muster, I assured each one of them,

"Babies, if the law allowed you to be eligible for adoption, each of you would have been snatched up by multiple families by now.  You are ALL precious.  I praise God that He has provided this amazing place for you to call home and I am honored to get to come here and love on you all each day. I am so grateful to all the missionaries, tias, teachers, and supporters that make this home possible."

The questions proceeded,

"Mrs. Brooke, what happened to Samuel?  Why does he get to be with another family?"

I continued with caution as I shared his story with them.  I shared that he was found on the streets of China and that no one knows where his original parents are.  Then the hand came from one precious little boy that I have spent so much time loving and teaching and helping to come up with coping mechanisms for anger,

"Mrs. Brooke, that's MY story."

"I know, sweetheart.  He has a story similar to many of you that live here.  That's why I know that YOU will understand so many his emotions when I bring him back here.  How do you think he is going to feel coming to a new place, learning a new language?"

Student #1:  "He will feel scared."
Student #2:  "He will be confused."
Student #3:  "He may feel some excitement."
Student #4:  "He will feel happy because this is a happy place."

"Well, I know that EACH one of you are going to help him feel happy here.  That you will teach him things about Honduras and that he will teach you things about China.  You guys are all going to learn so much from each other.  I am so excited that he gets to come and experience life together with you."

Life is not always fair, but I am grateful for Good Shepherd Children's Home.  I am grateful for Good Shepherd Christian Academy.  Its because of people in the states that generously give from month to month that these ministries exist.  So, there are many kids here in Honduras that will never get to share my last name, but I work hard because I love them.  I believe in them and I believe that the ministry God has called us to is making generational change.

Maybe God has not called you or your family to adopt, but there are multiple other ways to become involved in being a part of a child's life that needs to know stability and love.  You can help those that are asking, "Why not me?"  Consider giving to one of these ministries on a monthly basis to see that we can continue providing for them.

https://giving.bmdmi.org/bmdmi-schools

Photo Credits go to Billy Weeks

The Balancing Act

I posted recently that we could be raising the next Karate Kid.  I was half-joking.  Sam is amazing at balancing.  He also gets in this Karate Kid position with the most concentrated look on his face, zoned in and ready to accomplish anything.  I wish I could balance things so easily.

These last few weeks I have found my heart so divided and my mind so unfocused.  I know this is partly due to stress and new transitions and trying to make sure each of my kids get individualized attention.  How to balance discipline and yet tolerate new behaviors?  How do you balance the one son who feels displaced and the other son who wants acceptance?  Combine that with financial stress of "how are we going to pay that attorney", homeschooling, fundraising for and missing our ministries in Honduras and it has been the perfect storm to be unbalanced.

However, I believe that the Psalmist knew that a divided heart accomplishes nothing.

11Teach me your way, Lord,

that I may rely on your faithfulness;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name. (Psalm 86)

So, many mornings and late nights, I have prayed this same prayer.  Lord, teach me YOUR ways.  I have seen and can testify of YOUR faithfulness in our lives over and over again. Help me to trust that this is YOUR way, YOUR very nature.  YOU remain faithful, even when I am unfaithful.   Give me an UNDIVIDED heart.  Help me to find that peaceful balance.  LEAD me beside still waters as YOU restore my soul.  Help me to fear YOUR name.  The prayer, the cry says, "Teach me..."  Like any Good Teacher, my Father has us learning this in a hands-on manner.  He's giving me wisdom from others and surrounded us with a group of supporters to encourage us forward.  He's teaching me each day through new trials and repeating some that I need to be reminded of.  

One of my favorite songs is Grace by Laura's Story.  The first verse sums up my life right now.  

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.

I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.

And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me

And hold me as my father and mold me as my maker. 

[Chorus:]
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound? "
And You answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace. "

We are so far from perfecting this "parenting an older adopted child" thing.  However, I can testify that God's grace is sufficient for each day.  Tomorrow, I leave behind my sweet family to return to ministries in Honduras for a couple of weeks.  Its part of the juggling act right now. 

 I am trusting that as I board that plane, His Grace will be sufficient.  

Photo Credits go to Anna Johnson

Working on the 5%

"I hate to break the bad news to you, but about 80 percent of all you do, anyone can do! For example, going to work, attending meetings, checking e-mail, answering phones, going to soccer games and lunches and dinners.

Additionally, about 15 percent of all you do someone with some measure of training could do in your place.  Whether it's selling a product, running a program, teaching a class, or fixing a problem, there is education and training available for someone else to do what you do.

But at least 5 percent of what you do, only you can do.  No one else can do it for you.  Only I can be a husband to my wife,  Only I can be a dad to my three children.  Only I can keep my body healthy.  And only I can grow spiritually!  No one else can do the last 5 percent for me.  I alone am responsible for it.  Only I can keep myself disciplined." - The Divine Mentor by Wayne Cordero

I can't believe we have spent a month here in the states.  Time has flown so fast.  This Friday, I will leave to return to Honduras and leave behind my babies and hubby.  Its going to be hard, but it has been hard to be here too.  We have loved the time together to bond with Sam, but our hearts miss Honduras.  We love what we do there!  There hasn't been a day that goes by that Gabby or Owen doesn't ask when they get to go back.

So, what has our first month with Sam looked like?  Bringing a 10 year old into our home has many similarities to bringing in an infant.  We have had to work on sleep schedules, deal with him not sleeping, waking up in the middle of the night, and work on finding a feeding schedule and foods that works for him. Mainly, we have been working on the 5 %.

We've been working on parenting our children, growing spiritually, and being intentional about our conversations as a couple.  We have tried to prioritize the 5% in our lives that no one else can do.  Many times, while we are serving in Honduras, we tend to focus on the 95 % listed above and the 5% can easily be pushed to the bottom of the list.  So, we are re-prioritizing.

• we've cuddled a little more
• we've lingered a little longer in devotion times with our Savior
• we've had deep conversations with our children
• we've stayed up a little later and played Monopoly
• we've drawn out bed time routines a little longer 
• we've laughed hysterically about drawings in Pictionary
• we've cooked together and enjoyed meals together

We may not get to experience the same kind of firsts like with an infant, but we have had our own "firsts".  The first time he shared with us his great fear of ghosts and Rene was able to pray for him and ask God's angels to surround and protect him.  The first time he called us "Mommy" and "Daddy".  The first time he went to the beach and jumped in the waves.  The first time to say "my" house.  Yes, there have been some behavior problems, anger outbursts, and nightmares, but we have also had plenty of laughter, love, and growing trust.  

Thank you for praying for us in this transition.  Thank you for supporting our family in this new faith journey.  Each day we are reminded of our Father's great love for us, even when we were most undeserving.  "We love because He first loved us."

Who Are We?

Owen likes things black and white.  If you know my child at all, you know that he is an entertainer.  He loves to tell stories over a cup of coffee and perform magic tricks for anyone that will listen.  He lives for soccer and is constantly being told, "Take that ball outside, please!"  But...he is my kid that sees things black and white.  So, the first few days that Sam came to be with us, Owen could not understand why we were not correcting every.single.thing. that he was doing that was wrong.  We tried to explain to Owen that we couldn't correct everything all at once.  We were going to have to start teaching him who we are as a family and focus on one thing at a time.  Owen has struggled that every time he sees Sam "step out of line" that he is not representing our family well.

This made me realize that we would involve Gabby and Owen in our lessons of teaching Sam about our family.  In order to teach these things, we had to define "WHO WE ARE."  When you are introducing an older child to a new family, you can't assume that he will just pick up your identity. We have had years to repeat things and model things for Gabby and Owen (being a Pizzati is their born identity; they don't know anything differently), but for Sam, we have to teach it, mold it, reinforce it over and over again. We have to demonstrate to him what it means to be a Pizzati.   So, that meant, we had to write it down.  Our family values have always been summarized by these four things:  We work hard, respect authority, love others, forgive quickly.  However, some further explanation was needed.  This list may be modified in the future, but this is what Gabby and Owen, Rene and myself sat down and brainstormed.  So, Sam, ready or not, this is what it means to be "Pizzati".

1.  We are not defined by money or social status, but rather by our love for Jesus and others.
2.  We respect each other's uniqueness and tolerate our differences.
3.  We let the Holy Spirit guide our decisions.
4.  We love to travel and meet new people.
5.  We work together to accomplish everyday tasks.
6.  Pizzatis try new things.
7.  We celebrate individuality.
8.  We find ways to laugh together often.
9.  We love God's creation and take time to marvel it.
10.  We support one another no matter what.
11.  Home is where we are together.

Noodles for Breakfast?

Its no secret that we are a multicultural family.  Up until a couple of weeks ago, we worked hard to blend Honduran culture and North American culture in our home.  Now, we add a third culture-- Chinese.  What does this mean?  It means that we will acknowledge new holidays, introduce new foods and learn new recipes, and learn some words and phrases in a new language as well.  It means we are being stretched.

Right now, my mornings are interesting...Breakfast looks different for each of my children.

Gabby is content with a bowl of cereal.

Owen prefers to have some beans and tortillas.

Sam wants a big bowl of noodles.

Yes, you read that right...a bowl of noodles for breakfast.  Some people would say, "Absolutely not. He should eat whatever everyone else eats."

Yet, here we are, trying to win over his heart.  Trying to show him that we love him the way he is and how he was created.  So, I make noodles for breakfast.

Last week, we made our first trip to the Asian supermarket.  We have been accustomed to finding authentic Honduran food in specialized Hispanic supermarkets, but the Asian market was a new experience.  We let Sam walk down the aisles and show us things that he likes.  He was so excited!  He pointed and translated the labels that were written in Chinese.  Over the next few days, I heard comments like, "Mommy, this is soooooo good!"  Rene and I couldn't help but smile.  What joy it brings our hearts to give our children good gifts.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11

Thank you Father for knowing us so intimately...for your Grace that gives us extra blessings and gifts that we don't deserve.  Lord, I pray that in this season of meshing as a family, that I will also find myself delighting in and resting in Your presence.  Thank you for being a Good, Good Father.

Psalm 37:4

4 Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Just as we continue to learn his culture, we begin to teach him our culture.  Camo and tree stands just happen to be a part of that!