Life in Honduras

Wow! Its been way to long since I have blogged.  In fact, so much has happened in the last three years.  Our family returned to serve in Honduras.  We cycled through the culture shock stages yet again.  We are now "reintegrated" and enjoying serving Jesus.

My husband serves with bringing teams from the states and introducing them to serving here in Honduras.  We are so humbled week after week that we have the opportunity to meet so many servants of Jesus.  Rene also serves as co-director of the Bible Institute where native leaders and pastors are trained to continue on in the discipleship area of these teams.  Its fascinating work to watch the body of Christ come together to fulfill the Great Commission.

I have been serving as the LEAD teacher coordinator at Good Shepherd Christian Academy.  GSCA is a school located inside of the property of our children's home here in Honduras.  We decided a couple of years ago to try to convert our school to be bilingual.  So, we began the search for LEAD teachers, which are volunteer teachers that come from the states to teach our children here.  I have witnessed God's faithfulness year after year.  He has provided just who we needed at just the right times.  I love watching these kids grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. I also love to help these teachers transition into the country and school.  It is such a joy for me to share with them from experience how to help cycle through culture shock.  I also try to do my part in loving on them and providing time for Bible study and a meal each week.

These guys pour themselves out for the sake of our children (mine included).  It is so beautiful to watch relationships form that I know will last a lifetime.  I also get the privilege of watching how God is using this experience for teachers as the stepping stone for what is next.  Three of the LEAD teachers have decided to take a next step with BMDMI to become full-time.  I praise Jesus for this program and ministry.  I believe that education is the key to break generational poverty. I believe that through our small efforts and service today, that a generation is being changed.  My prayer is that through this education, they would also come to know Jesus, the Author of their faith.  

Return Anxiety and Non-Elation!

I am finally getting around to posting this blog. I wrote it while sitting in the airport in Honduras our last few moments. It’s not perfect and I know that I should revise it, but this shows me right where I am. I can’t wait to continue to post updates of our life journey as the Creator of the Universe orders our steps!

I have just completed what may have been one of the most difficult weeks of my life so far. We packed our things and said goodbye to our friends and family in Honduras…for now. I can’t even begin to describe the surge of emotions we have experienced: pain, joy, heartbreak, fear, and fulfillment are just a few.

It hurt. Literally. My heart hurt to have to leave. These are people we love, people we have poured our hearts and lives into. Several important circumstances have led my husband to this decision. From legal paperwork to maintain his residency to lack of funding to return, the decision to return to the states was inevitable, but that didn’t make it easy. We cried lots! I know that the book of psalms tells us that God collects each of our tears in a bottle and I know that this week, we’ve filled a few for Him to store. However, I wanted to share with you that even in the midst of one of the most difficult times, His presence was with us! I saw Him all around us! He encouraged us as He allowed us to see fruit of our five and half years as missionaries in the country. I saw him as He spoke through our Honduran friends. These last days have been busy packing and cleaning and selling things and receiving people and hearing their stories. Dozens of people and families came to share how God has used us to touch their lives in some way or another. It was overwhelming! It was overwhelming because I know that it was nothing good out of us, but that the Lord simply used us, as imperfect as they come, to touch them in various ways. Our hearts were filled with joy this last Sunday morning as our church was filled to capacity and His people worshiped Him. I saw the Lord’s presence as He provided legal paperwork for mom and dad’s girls and an interview date for my sister-in-law at the embassy. I saw the Lord’s presence as the people of the church grieved our leaving but were so willing to embrace their new pastor and vowed their support to continue to grow Transformacion. I felt the Lord’s presence as He changed my attitude from one of anger and bitterness to a heart of gratitude for the time He has given us in Honduras.

We have been scared. We don’t have paying jobs yet back in the states nor do we have a house to live in yet. Fear has paralyzed me at times. Maybe I shouldn’t have these kind of emotions, but I have. I can’t say that I’ve been super-spiritual, trusting the Lord each step, but rather the opposite. Clinging on to Him for dear life is more like it.I have had to say, “Lord, I don’t understand. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I am choosing to trust You even when I can’t see.” Walking by faith and not by sight is easier said and written than it is lived.

“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He restores my soul. And yeah, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for HE is withme. His rod and His staff, they comfort me.”

No, this was not a physical death, but it has been a death to our own desires. We are grieving, but we also know that with every death comes a resurrection and that joy comes in the morning! We anticipate this time. I would be lying if I said that I haven’t worried. I have worried about many things and yet after taking time to list those things to the Lord, He allowed me to see His hand in each one. Isn’t it just like the Lord to show up in our darkest valley? Why do I ever doubt Him? Why do I ever fear? He continues to prove to me over and over again that He is trustworthy and faithful! So, the Author and Perfector of our faith has completed writing another chapter in our lives. Now, a new chapter begins and I am not even about to try to figure out what it is He wants to write, but I know that there will be more than we could have ever thought or imagined!

Thank you for sending us to Honduras! One day you will come face to face with your eternal rewards, of this we are certain! Please continue to pray for us as we take one step of faith at a time.

Original post can be seen at:  pizzati.blogspot.com

Return Shock!

Re-Culturization

I know that I grew up in this country. American principles and ideals are ingrained in me. However, living outside of the U.S. for five and half years has changed me. I'm still trying to process "how" but I know for certain that I am not the same person I was before we left the U.S. We didn't just "live" outside of the U.S., but rather I sought to embrace a different culture and lifestyle. I studied them and adapted many things accordingly. I saw poverty sights that most Americans only see on TV and I saw them so often that I must confess that I may have even become immune to them at times. So, how does one go from living in a culture where relationships were more important than meetings, where having clothes were more important than the style you wore, where eating three meals a day was a luxury not a necessity, and where punctuality was irrelevant, adjust back to the American culture?

I must confess, it is taking time.

So, we were only gone five and half years. Can things really change that much? You bet they can! Streets here in Greenville look different. Landmarks I once used to get around with have changed with new restaurants and businesses. New electronic devices have blown me away! Many seem foreign to me, but slowly I am making myself learn to use them. I am amazed at the functions of the DVR, Netflix, and the nook. I love having an automatic dishwasher and was fascinated to learn what could go down the drain for the garbage disposal. However, inspite of all these things, by far the greatest change has been me! I am learning not to take things for granted such as more than one pair of shoes in my closet, plates to eat on, heat in the house, beds to sleep on, walls around us to block the wind, toys for my kids to play with, etc.

I find myself enjoying "things to do" but also finding it hard to make decisions. There seem to be so many options here! For example, in our town in Honduras we had two grocery stores and you simply went to the one that you lived closest to. There was one place to buy vegetables, another for meat, etc. Inside our grocery store, there was basically one brand of everything we wanted. Here, it is taking me forever to decide which grocery store to go to. I am using coupons to help me narrow this option down, but nonetheless, more than one store has sales and is in a convenient location. Then, when I get inside of the store, there isn't just one brand of soup, there are several and within each branded label, there are multiple varieties. Options and choices. From restaurants to feminine products, this is a land of variety. And right now, the variety overwhelms me.

The other morning, I drove into a gas station, pulled up at the pump, and just sat there. I'm not exactly sure how long it took me to realize that someone was not coming to pump my gas. In Honduras, this was a way to provide jobs for people, but here it is "self-serve". So, in the freezing cold, I climbed out my car and mashed all the right buttons and pumped my own gas. I know it seems silly, but after going for so long not having to do this, I felt a little intimidated.

Also, there are still times that I look at a price in a store and begin calculating it to lempiras because that became second nature to me. I still find myself seeing someone with "darker skin" and begin speaking in Spanish to them. I find myself cringing as I see some of the scraps people here put into the garbage disposal. I have to stop myself from not grabbing everything out people's garbage cans to save for someone who might could use it such as empty milk cartons and plastic containers. I still look under my sink for the gallon of bleach to use for my vegetables, and I'm still amazed that the water in the faucet comes out so clear! I LOVE the luxury of simply rinsing a tomato to use and eat. I still find myself staring at unused candles in peoples homes, b/c each of mine had burned to the end on the nights we had no electricity.

So, I have been asking people to "re-culturize" me: to teach me the way things are done here, the way people eat, and the way people dress. Just as I adapted to Honduran culture in order to share Christ with them, my desire has been to re-adapt to this culture in order to share Christ here. However, I don't want to fall into the trap of materialism. I don't want to forget the lessons I have learned. I want to be in the world but not of the world. I think that's what we're commanded to do anyways. I remember my husband teaching guys in Honduras, "I'm not here to teach you an American culture or a Honduran culture, I'm here to teach you a Biblical culture." This is my prayer.... may I adapt where I need to, but Lord help me to be a walking example of what a "Jesus Culture" should look like.

This post can be viewed on my original blog setting:  pizzati.blogspot.com

Culture Shock in Marriage

My husband calls this picture, "We are the World."  He still thinks I married him to help do my part to promote world peace.  LOL.  Seriously, he is from Honduras, Central America and I am from Moncks Corner, SC.  He's from a city and I'm from the country.  His native language is Spanish and mine is English.  We both attended North Greenville College and we were introduced to one another by my twin brothers.  They were just freshman and I was a senior.  They decided to invite all the international students home with them during Fall break because the campus closed and most internationals had nowhere to go.  My future husband just happened to be in the group:)  We met over that weekend and the rest is whirlwind history!

Its funny that when we met, I thought, "He's a great guy.  He loves the Lord, but it would NEVER work between us."  When a couple of my girl friends questioned my reasons, I responded with the excuses, "Well, he's not an American citizen and he's shorter than me."  I admit that they were not very legitimate excuses:)  My brother's girlfriend at the time put a sticky note on my door while I was out one day.  It said, "Do not consider his appearance, nor HIS HEIGHT, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  1 Samuel 16:7  This verse combined with a few intense conversations with one another revealed he was the ONE for me and what was in his heart was far greater than my excuses.  My husband shared with me his desire to return to his country to serve the Lord there, so I knew that when we said, "I do" at the altar that I wasn't just saying yes to a lifelong mate, but also to a life of missionary service overseas.

I think it is important to insert here that my husband spoke English.  It wasn't his first language and we certainly have had a few laughs over the years with some misunderstandings, but we could communicate.  I think that communication is one of the keys to any successful marriage.  So, talk we did, and continue to do.  I also think that every marriage is the combining of two cultures.  Everyone is raised with their own traditions and disciplines and it takes communication and work to develop your own.  We knew that our marriage would be uniting two countries and two families as well.  We knew that it would take some extra work to overcome some differences.  So, maybe, we even conversed a little more than most couples do because we wanted to make sure we were preparing ourselves for a lifetime of unity between these cultures. Over the years, it has been so much fun to create our own traditions and customs.  However, there have been a few topics that it have become very apparent that we were raised cross-culturally and thus has created some CULTURE SHOCK!

1.  Raising Kids
2.  Holidays
3.  Family

In each of these topics, we have blended our cultures to create our own unique traditions and customs that what makes us known as the Pizzati Family.

Initial Shock- What's that in your hair?

During our first mission trip to Honduras, God revealed many things about Himself to us.  We traveled on foot many miles to a very impoverished village known as La Ceibita.  We had plans on washing and doing the hair of the women and children as well as an adaptation of a VBS.  When we arrived though, we found that there were only two spigots for running water for the whole town and one of them didn't work.   So much for our plan to wash hair!  However, one of our guys proved to be a handyman and got the town spigot running again.  We lined up the ladies and children and took them one by one and to wash their hair.  The people of this town are Lenca Indians and many of them still use a very traditional dress, including head coverings for their hair.  It was such a humbling experience as we removed the head coverings.  Most of these ladies had never had their hair washed with shampoo before or brushed either.  As we lathered the shampoo and placed our fingers in their hair, lice began crawling up our arms.  For us North Americans, we were mortified!  CULTURE SHOCK!!!!  Thoughts like, "How can these people live like this and these people are so dirty," crossed my mind.  The differences between my culture and that culture were glaring at me!  While washing that first lady's hair, I remembered that Jesus washed the nasty, dirty feet of His disciples, so why shouldn't I be able to wash this hair?  I quickly pinned up my own and continued.  I was more and more humbled by the actions of my Savior with each head that I washed and brushed.   As I washed the hair of each mother and child, I prayed for them.  I prayed that God would reveal Himself to each individual in the village and that La Ceibita would be forever changed by the Word of God.  Initial shock can be overcome by seeing the greater picture.  I have since learned that for these people, lice were and are simply a part of their life.  It isn't such an awful thing when everyone around you has the same way of life.  As my relationship developed with the people of this village and others in the same region, lice became such a non-issue because I grew to love them just as they are.

After we left the village and arrived back to the nearest city, we bought lice shampoo and treated our own hair "just to be sure."  A couple of weeks later I found myself in the hustle and bustle of my wedding week and all the last minute details that includes when my fiance looked at me with a strange look and asked, "What is that in your hair?"  He then began to move my hair behind my ear only to discover more "somethings" there.  I quickly ran to the bathroom to discover my own infestation of lice right before my wedding!  Yet, somehow, I wasn't totally disgusted because I knew that wouldn't be the last time.  Our journey together was about to begin and we knew that would include many more trips to these villages and possibly many more times of fine-nit-combing. Sharing the life-changing message of Jesus with them was worth it and still is!

First Stage- Initial Elation

I love new beginnings!  I love the feeling of a fresh start and blank slate.  I love that God promises us that each day is full of new  mercies. I love the excitement that stirs in my heart about the unknown adventure that lies ahead. I love that feeling of stepping out in faith and watching the Lord pave the way each step...

And I'll never forget those first steps into our ministry in Honduras.

Let me preface this by saying that I knew when I met and married Rene that I was not just saying "I do" to the man that I would spend the rest of my life with, but I was also saying, "I do" to a lifetime of missionary service with him.  Rene had shared with me that he had a calling to tell others back in his country of Honduras about the Lord and  I had surrendered to the call to missions long before I ever met my dear husband, so I knew at some point in our lives, we would be Honduras bound.

But, you see, my husband asked me to marry him before I ever had the opportunity to meet his family.  I said, "yes" before I ever laid eyes on the country that I would one day call "home".

So, we led our first mission trip to Honduras three weeks before my wedding.   We arrived in Tegucigalpa with a team of college students. My future mother-in-law arranged it so that she was waiting on the landing strip when our plane arrived.  I hugged my future family for the first time.  We travelled across country to a small city where we rented a cattle truck and all climbed in the back to continue our journey another several hours to a small town.  We camped out and the next day, we hiked and hiked and hiked to a very remote village.  It really did seem like the "end of the earth" to me.  All the while, I was soaking in the scenery!  Beautiful mountain ranges and green valleys, security guards with machine guns standing in front of grocery stores and banks, tiny people scarred by the toils of life, men that wore straw hats so that their skin was protected by the sun and women that wore bright colors and covered their hair.  I saw new foods and smelt new smells and experienced coke being served in plastic bags with a straw.  Strange things.    The people in that village had very little from a worldly perspective.  They had the clothes on their backs and most of them didn't even have shoes on their feet.  They even referred to their birthdays as "the day the corn was harvested" rather than a date.

I saw a lot of new things for me.  But up there in that tiny village I saw something I didn't expect, something I had never seen before: I SAW VISION and I FELT CALLING!  It took effort on our part to get to that village.  It also took a lot of resources.  We gave these people a lot of things.  We washed the ladies' hair as lice crawled up our arms.  We passed out shoes and clothes. But more than all this, we shared HOPE with them.  We shared Jesus!  The clothes we passed out would one day wear thin and the shoes would one day be outgrown or worn out and even the rice and beans would only last a couple of meals, but JESUS will be around for all of eternity!  So, we shared with them and the words of the scripture, "the poor people of this world will be rich in faith," took on a whole  new meaning to me.  My first steps to a new land were greeted with initial elation and calling and the calling is what held me through every other stage of CultureSHOCK.

What is Culture Shock?

Webster's Dictionary defines culture shock this way:

The feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes.

DISORIENTATION!
I think that word says so much. 
         Where am I?  
                 Who am I?   
                       What are they doing?    
                              Why do they do that?  
                                       How can I still be "me" in a culture that is so different?

I was recently in a seminar designed for teaching international students English and a large portion of our time was spent on this topic.  As I listened to the instructor share about culture shock and the stages associated with it, light bulbs clicked in my brain and numerous emotions and feelings that I had experienced in the past resurfaced, but now these emotions had a name and fell into a category.  As a missionary and  a wife in an intercultural marriage and teacher to internationals,  I recognized that in my own life I am and will always be living in a stage of culture shock.

The nine stages of culture shock that she taught us were:

1.  Initial Elation
2.  Initial Shock
3.  Superficial Adjustment
4.  Depression or Frustration
5.  Acceptance
6.  Return anxiety
7.  Return elation
8.  Return shock
9.  Reintegration

Now, I've read many other websites and books and know that others break down the categories into four or five, but regardless, there are stages and when dealing with other cultures, we will cycle through them.  Numbers one through five are the emotions associated with the new culture and six through nine are when you return to your home culture.

Okay....so many people reading this may think, "What's the big deal?  You experience emotions due to changes."  However, if you have ever lived these emotions, you know that they affect you in every way.  There are emotional side effects and physical side effects.  Relationships are also altered and thus affected.  I know.  I've cycled through these a time or two and so has my family.  Right now as I am creating this blog, I am reflecting over the last two years and how we as a family have shifted our gears through them.  That's one of the reasons that I decided to create this blog.  I'll be sharing personal stories about our journey through some of these phases and how we survived, and just because I find myself "reintegrated" now, I know that the cycle will begin all over again in the future.   I also want to point out that everyone walks through these differently and at different paces.  Some may stay longer at one stage than another and some may even skip over a stage.  Sometimes, we cycle through them so fast that it seems we are caught in a hurricane of every-changing emotions and of course disorientation.

Symptoms associated with culture shock are:

• a feeling of sadness and loneliness,
• an over-concern about your health,
• headaches, pains, and allergies
• insomnia or sleeping too much
• feelings of anger, depression, vulnerability
• idealizing your own culture
• trying too hard to adapt by becoming obsessed with the new culture
• the smallest problems seem overwhelming
• feeling shy or insecure
• become obsessed with cleanliness
• overwhelming sense of homesickness
• feeling lost or confused
• questioning your decision to move to this place

For me, this information was enlightening!  It showed me that I don't belong in an insane asylum.  Also, the good news is that these symptoms are only associated with a few of the stages and we do move past them.  But....isn't is encouraging to recognize the stage won't last forever?  My hope is that if someone who is walking through culture shock is reading this, they will be encouraged.  For the others, maybe you will be able to understand those of us that are walking through this a little better.